Tips from Positive Coaching, by Jim Thompson (Portola Valley, CA: Warde
Publishers, 1995)

Everyone can be a winner. It's not a zero sum game.
Show unqualified support: for your team members.
Rewards: The things that get rewarded get done, so set up the situation so that it rewards the things that the community wants done.
Exercise: One person leaves the room. The others prepare a task for that person to accomplish. When the person returns, they have the job of doing this task, not knowing what it is or anything about it. The group can only punish wrong responses by slapping the person on the head gently with a rolled newspaper when the person does something else than the task.  Part II: One person leaves the room. The others prepare a task for that person to accomplish. When the person returns, they have the job of doing this task, not knowing what it is or anything about it. The group can only reward responses that approach the correct one. Compare how long it takes in each case and how the person feels about the task. 

Security: When a person is secure in knowing that the others in the
community will value him, no matter how he performs, more of his energy can go into learning and responding to the challenging facing him.

Be relentlessly positive: five rewards/praises for each punishment/criticism. 
Look for positive things to say about each individual's behavior each week.
Use positive charting measure actions toward valued goals.
Each person should get about the same number of things charted
Recognize effort, not just results
Recognize character as well as results
When someone screws up, plan drills for everybody to cover it; don't
single out.

Praise in public, criticize in private
Acceptance time: give people time to accept the need for change, buy in to the idea, accept it as their own, internalize it.

Privacy: Give people privacy to work on their skills; let them go public
when they're ready.

Tell stories: stories that give structure to the situation, show people how
to think about it and what to do and motivate by convincing people they can do this.

Use metaphors: to make key points vivid and memorable, the more outrageous the better Find the vision in every situation: here's our predicament and here's how we can cope with it.
Energy comes from emotions and emotions are released by ideas, visions, interpretations of the situation.

Become a student of the power of ideas - stories, metaphors, and visions -to help players become motivated to make more effort than they think is possible.

Ask rather than tell: Instead of telling a person what to do, ask them what
they think they should do in this situation and why. Instead of telling
someone to do this and they will improve, ask them what they think they
need to do to improve. Suggest a goal. Wait a while, then ask the person 'Do you think this is a goal you're willing to work on?' "Would you like to do more of this?" "Would you like to get better at that?" "Are you open to suggestion on this?" Give them space to do it at their own initiative. 

Work with their goals: Ask each player what they hope to accomplish during the year. Connect these long term goals with short-term goals of learning activities in the program, the daily commitments needed to meet that goal.

Help players reformulate goals that are unrealistic so that they are challenging but within reach with a stretch.

Have them teach each other:
1. Explain and demonstrate the skill
2. Have them tell you in their own words how to do it
3. Then, in pairs, have them show each other
4. Still in pairs, have them criticize each other
5. Have each player demonstrate the skill to the group
6. Give them your feedback.

Endorsement: They key to self-worth. Being chosen for important positions and being supported by important others. When you feel endorsed, you feel like you are among friends. Things coaches can do:
1. Use names and have everyone use names
2. Smile, joke, make eye contact, use appropriate touching
3. Show that you can be influenced by them; ask them for advice and listen and act on it.
4. Apologize when you're wrong or make mistakes and forgive them for theirs.
5. Express appreciation and recognition, brag about them.
6. Give them individual teaching time
7. Give a gentle word occasionally on how the person might improve
8. Help them to see their potential.
9. Take photographs of your players and use them to commemorate the
accomplishments of the year.
10. Ask: "How do you feel about that?" instead of saying 'that's great!'

Help players draw useful conclusions from events: the opportunity for
growth is more important than the immediate accomplishment

Mental toughness: sticking to something that is really important instead of saying 'I can't do this' and quitting.
· If you can't get out of it, get into it.
· Learn to enjoy challenges, take pleasure in struggles
· Win and lose with class
· Look fear in the face, have courage.
· Set goals and commit yourself to them.

Effort is central: the one thing that is truly up to you is how hard you
try. Determination is more important than talent.

Teaching character traits:
1. Introduce and define the character trait
2. Look for opportunities to illustrate the concept in your times together
3. Reinforce, model, and intervene as appropriate
4. Look for stories to share
5. Ask: 'Can anyone think of a situation where…?"

(DFW: What are the character traits most important to develop in LDT?
· Understand the problem before proposing a solution
· Look at and learn from the best work that others have already done
· Everybody has something to contribute

Mistakes: "The team that makes the most mistakes will probably win …. The doer makes mistakes, and I wanted doers on my team - players who make things happen." John Wooden, They Call Me Coach. Mistakes are the lifeblood of learning. It's OK to make a mistake. You get good judgment by exercising bad judgment.
Unconstructive goals: To look good, avoid looking dumb, not look bad in
public. Fear of making a mistake is a paralyzing force.
Go all out: learn what it means to give everything you have to a task.
Admit your own mistakes.

Self-efficacy: leads a person to try harder when confronted with obstacles, try new strategies, stick to it longer, set higher goals, have more commitment to achieving goals, visualize success, expect success, set still more challenging goals. Four ways to increase self-efficacy:
1. Try something and have success. (coaches: design for early success)
2. Watch others like yourself (or worse-off) try and succeed. (If they can,
so can I.)
3. Positive self-talk short-circuits negative imaginings. (Be prepared,
though)
4. Interpret arousal positively: "I'm excited." Not, "I'm nervous."
Encourage them to see skills as acquirable.
Provide opportunities for practice and mastery
Encourage goal-setting and charting.
Focus on the do-able parts of any challenge.
Encourage a rosy estimate of a player's ability.

Team-building
1. Link individuals' goals to team success. Find ingenious ways. (Group
dinner,…)
2. Ask your players to commit to what it takes to achieve excellence.
3. Block self-protective responses of individuals: fight, flight,
alliance-building, scapegoating - by making them feel comfortable and
accepted within the team
4. Help each player feel accepted by leaders and classmates
5. Help each player feel that they can influence the group.
6. Help each player find an identity in the group.
7. Help individuals believe that they will win if the team wins.
Countering isolates: try to get two, don't let just one person be an
isolate. Support the isolate, make it clear to him and others that you are
GLAD he is on the team. Enlist the help of the natural leaders by asking
them if they would help the isolate feel more comfortable. Involve the
family. Stick up for your player if other players are down on him.
Strong willed individuals (Kalee!): Ask them if they are open to suggestion.

Ignore isolated misbehavior. Assume it's random behavior and ignore and forget it.
Treat serious or repeated misbehavior with natural and logical
consequences, not punishment. It's not the coach being mean, it's just that this is the way the world is. The coach should not get emotionally involved (angry), but rather let the individual suffer the natural consequences of their inappropriate action.